Remarkable 39 Selected Quotes By - Bill Engvall

Remarkable 39 Selected Quotes By - Bill Engvalle

I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.'

— Bill Engvall

I love to laugh, and laughter is one of my favorite things. When you have a really good laugh, you feel great afterwards.

— Bill Engvall

I'd like to see the Amazon rainforests before they're all gone, and also the Galapagos - that's another one I'd like to do. I'd love to go diving in those areas. Basically, places, like, that are kind of going away, and I'd like to see them before they all become condos and high-rises.

— Bill Engvall

Now people live into their 90s and beyond. As long as I have quality of life, I'm good.

— Bill Engvall

There's a reason God didn't give me this success in my 20s, because I'd have blown it.

— Bill Engvall

If you watch the 'Blue Collar Tour,' I was probably the least redneck of everybody.

— Bill Engvall

I used to hunt and fish.

— Bill Engvall

I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.

— Bill Engvall

It's fun being Bill Engvall.

— Bill Engvall

Europe has such an expansive history.

— Bill Engvall

If you're just a nice guy - you don't let people walk on you - but if you're just a nice guy and treat people right, good things happen.

— Bill Engvall

I travel fairly lightly because you have to these days. I always take a laptop and an iPod so I can watch movies and listen to music. And my Gameboy. That's a good time-killer.

— Bill Engvall

I've learned in my older age that sexy gets you further than brains.

— Bill Engvall

When 'Blue Collar TV' was on the 'WB,' we were their second-highest rated show, but they didn't know what to do with us. They had 'Reba,' which was number one, and we were number two, and they didn't want to be known as the hayseed network, so they kind of dropped us, even though we were pulling great numbers.

— Bill Engvall

I haven't been really nervous about a gig in a long time.

— Bill Engvall

America loves to watch people growing and getting better.

— Bill Engvall

Jay Leno told me once, 'Don't do jokes about things you don't know about.'

— Bill Engvall

As my wife says, I'll never fully retire, but it'll start to slow down. I'll continue to do the local gigs or go to Las Vegas. But I won't be going out to Ohio to play an Indian casino anymore. Those will probably go by the wayside.

— Bill Engvall

I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'

— Bill Engvall

When I drove up on the set one day, and they'd put up a sign that says 'The Bill Engvall Show,' I stood there for 20 minutes just staring at it. The director, James Widdoes, came up and said, 'What are you doing?' And I said, 'Look at this! There's my name on a stage door in Hollywood!'

— Bill Engvall

I've never said I was the best dancer, and I never said I was a good dancer.

— Bill Engvall

Left to my own vices, all I would own is a Corvette, and it would be broken down.

— Bill Engvall

Standup is a form of therapy. It is OK to tell problems to your audience as long as you are being honest and not boring them. I tell them that I am saving $75 an hour when I talk to them instead of a therapist.

— Bill Engvall

My goal is for 'The Bill Engvall Show' to be a show the networks look at and say, 'Ooh, maybe we should get back to the family sitcom.'

— Bill Engvall

People all over are finding themselves in jobs they never thought they'd be in.

— Bill Engvall

I'm a big animal fanatic.

— Bill Engvall

I don't do politics, I don't do religion, I don't do ethnic jokes.

— Bill Engvall

My favorite road trip ever is when my wife and I took an RV around the country. We just had the best time.

— Bill Engvall

I love playing the bitter guy.

— Bill Engvall

I come from a time when people like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby told stories that were devastatingly funny without being off-color.

— Bill Engvall

I love stand up, but every year, the road takes a little more out of you.

— Bill Engvall

I'm a California Angels fan because that's the first game my dad took me to see, and they stuck with me.

— Bill Engvall

If you lived next door to me and didn't know what I did, you wouldn't know I was a celebrity. I don't have that lifestyle, nor do I want that lifestyle. I want to know that I can have a separate life with my wife and my kids and just be normal and go camping and fishing and outdoor stuff.

— Bill Engvall

There's a lot of things I believe in this world. I believe in God, I believe in the United States of America, and I support and believe in the Second Amendment.

— Bill Engvall

You know as well as I do that the family sitcom was the stalwart of TV for God knows how many decades.

— Bill Engvall

People are trying to figure out how to pay bills and make ends meet. They don't want to turn on the TV and say, 'What is this crap?'

— Bill Engvall

It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy.

— Bill Engvall

I'm a blue collar guy.

— Bill Engvall

I always wanted to be an actor. I always wanted to be John Wayne.

— Bill Engvall

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